We never really get any older. I can see what that means
Line that was stuck in my head for a poem I couldn’t find for a decade.
WELCOME TO ROOM 004
OUR COKE, OTHER PEOPLES’ TROUT
I’m in front of you in line at the deli at 5:30 in the morning, clutching a box of tinfoil. I notice you watching me, so I start to caress my own ribcage. I am fucking high.
Amphetamine Logic
Guilt is magical. I’m remembering a poem, pulling my hair up into a blowjob ponytail.
Nothing is wrong if it feels goooood
Porsche 911. A sharpei I am thinking. I would like to own a sharpei. I am twenty-six years old I am thinking. I will be twenty-seven next year.
Patrick Bateman
All I know about grammar is its infinite power. To shift the structure of a sentence alters the meaning of that sentence, as definitely and inflexibly as the position of a camera alters the meaning of the object photographed.
Joanie
I was anorexic and addicted to Tae Kwon Do, which I practiced for six or seven hours a day.
Diaries
I hear quotes of his rise up in my head all the time. In fact, in the hospital, right after my stroke, I was trying to explain what was happening to me, what I was feeling, and all I could say was, “like trails in the air left by people on fire,” which is one of his lines.
Richard Siken on Dennis Cooper
There was enough sky for another life, an abutment of air.
Dennis Cooper
For all its jangly discontinuities, the current work (all untitled) feels newly grounded.
Cindy Sherman
Only the very young and the very old may recount their dreams at breakfast, dwell upon self, interrupt with memories of beach picnics and favorite Liberty lawn dresses and the rainbow trout in a creek near Colorado Springs. The rest of us are expected, rightly, to affect absorption in other people's favorite dresses, other people's trout.
On Keeping a Notebook
I said The branches blow and we sleep in dirt. I said Telephone. Safe harbor. Perhaps you are, perhaps you are diamonds
Metonymy
I sleep. I dream. I make up things that I would never say. I say them very quietly.
Meanwhile
Sometimes it’s just a matter of them not knowing how to ask. I remember not knowing how to ask.
In Conversation With R.S.
When there is a little light I feed the dogs. I hope they don’t expect to be fed this early every morning, she says. I do not point out that John will not die every morning and that in any case it is I who feeds them. The restraint costs me nothing.
Cheever on Updike
Is love stronger when the person you love is no longer there to interfere with it, or is love in that case just an act of exploitation and self-indulgence? I don’t know.
Difficulty is my drug of choice
We snort all our coke
on the way to the party.
We bring the new album.
We dance while we listen.
ABBA
We would live in the streets not just drive down them.
Alex Prager